Passwords, Minors, and Information by Sarasvati Faolchú: April 12, 2001
Sanguinarians "awaken" usually at puberty. Typically, puberty occurs between 12
and 15 years of age... minor age. It is during this time, though, that the
information on pages such as mine, and Sanguinarius' and SphynxCat's is most
needed. The problem arises in that we are talking about having to cut people,
blood drinking, and scarring. Permanent, heavy, stuff. Can people younger
then 18 handle this? Should they have to? To the first question, I don't know.
To the second, I wish the answer was no. Around puberty, people have enough
things to worry about, their body is changing, their hormones are kicking up,
and life gets tough. Throw in a sudden craving for blood, and well, it doesn't
get much better. Can we honestly say that these people do not need our
support? NO! Perhaps they are the ones that MOST need our support. Someone
other then Anne Rice and Bram Stoker to point them in the right direction and
let them know they are NOT freaks, and their lives are NOT over. The trouble
comes, in that on this side of the fence, we can see the need because we have
been there, on the other side stand the parents, and they have no idea. They
want to protect their child, to keep them safe, and I am certainly not saying
that should not be so, nor am I saying we should go against parental wishes.
What I am saying is that we need to look at this from both sides of that fence.
From our side of support, and from the parent's side of protection, and seek
the middle ground.
From our side, we see that help is needed. A confused person leaves a message
in the e-mail "am I crazy?" "I thought I was all alone until...", "I don't
know what to do now...", "Thank-you". Anyone who has either ran a
vampire/sanguin support site or stayed for any length of time on a message
board has seen at least one message to this effect. Usually they are from
minors, and this is even though it is usually posted that the information on
the pages is NOT for minors. Vindication for what we do comes in those
letters that say thank-you. It shows we are making a difference, and reaching
the people who need it. Isn't that what a support page is for? To reach out a
hand and say "look, here we are, like you, you do not stand alone." The very
fact that so many unrelated people that never knew each other before show the
same signs, the same needs, says its more than just in our minds. Many
diseases start that way, even such now-recognized disease as Lupus and Porphyria were originally dismissed as all in the mind. And would you turn a
12 year old suffering from Porphyria away from a site about it? Away from a
support site? No, of course not. Children with diseases are encouraged to
reach out and share stories with those with similar diseases. It helps, it
alleviates depression, and it makes them feel better. With Sanguinarianism,
though, it is a very thin line we walk. For those with Porphyria and Lupus
are not encouraged to drink blood, and those diseases are now much more
recognized. THAT is were the western worlds taboos and fear comes in. If we
had an unusual craving to consume large amounts of broccoli, the world would
have much less a problem with it and chances are the medical community would
have a much greater interest. But we don't, we crave blood, and for this reason we are shuffled under the rug and placed under that forbidden category
of porn and sex for anyone under 18. Parents hate us, the medical community
laughs at us, and the legal community just waits for us to mess up. We are
torn between giving the hand and support we should, and turning our backs for
fear of Big Momma out to ruin us. Maybe we need to show the parents first,
the “adults”. True, this is a faster track to being labeled as crazy, but
they are the people “in charge”. It is they we need to touch just as much as
we need to support the newly “awakened”.
From the other side of the fence now, the parents side. We are weird, and
weird is scary, and we never want our children to have to encounter anything
scary. We protect them from the boogie man in the closet, and the monster
under the bed, so what do you do when the "monster" appears on your child's
computer screen? You freak, that is what. After all vampires don't exist,
and yet here is a group of people who believe they need to drink blood (which
makes them vampires in most peoples minds). Vampires are scary, and parents
want to protect the child from the scary things. Yes, I can understand this
reaction. But does it make it the right reaction? I don't know. To the
parent, it is obviously right, and they have the right to restrict their
child from seeing the pages, and we have the obligation, to respect
that parent's wishes. We have to show we are equally willing to protect their
children, and acknowledge their status as parent. But does that mean we have
to password protect our sites? No, I don't think so. Parents protect, and
that is their job, to watch and care for the child. To be there for the
child. So which would the parent consider worse, a sanguin page or a porn
page? I'm not sure, honestly. Children usually start learning about sex at
around age 13, but parents of course never expect them, or want them, to have
sex until much older. Sanguinarianism is unfortunately not that easy to
deal with. Sex drive appears at 13-14, ok, nobody has ever died from not
having sex (sorry, guys, your cover is blown ;) and true, no one has ever
died that we know of from not getting the blood, but sanguins do experience
pain, headaches, etc etc without. If it appears at 13, it's much more
difficult to abstain until 18 or 21.
So, what is the solution? I do not know. I do not think passwords are the
answer though. With passwords, we could keep out many minors, true, but would
we not also be blocking non-minors with a legitimate need for the
information? It also shows we have something to hide, something that the
general population shouldn't know about, and would further our “elitist”
label. These are all bad things. Plus, it is not easy to verify age short of
requesting a credit card number or photocopy of the birth certificate. So
what to keep a minor from asking for the password and saying they are 18+
anyway? Nothing, not to mention most password programs are easily by passed,
and most of those who know how to bypass them are minors (after all, who knew
how to program your VCR at age 6?) Passwords are not the answer. Blocking
software, maybe that is at least a little better. It puts the leash back were
it belongs, in the parent's hands. Are we ultimately responsible for the
action of every person that reads our sites? No, how can we be? We are
responsible for the accuracy of the information, and we are responsible for
making sure people know we do not advocate non-consentual harm to others, but
the internet is not the world's babysitter, and parents need to know what
their child is up to, and block if they think it is right. We are, then,
simply responsible for registering (all free of charge, by the by) with those
companies that provide the programs. This is what we can do. And it will
still leave the information for those that need it.
That is by no means the solution, it is a band-aid, a quick fix, and
admittedly not a great one, but it IS something. Do we have a right to post
these sites? Of course! Do others have a right to read them? Of course!
Should minors be allowed access to them? Isn't that the Great Debate...